Rule #2: Standing at the top of the slide for extended periods of time is never acceptable.

He was a big kid. One of my big kids. Standing at the top of the slide ladder, swaying a little, mumbling a lot, indecision written all over his round, baby face. And I suppose I can't be too hard on him; the slide was high, the ground was wet, and the sneaky metal could have snagged him on his way down, leaving him in that forever-after haunting "stuck" position.
And so he sweated. Looked around, and stood. Now the line of impatient and rowdy school children behind him was no support group. This was getting old! This was getting boring! MOVE ALREADY!
But he couldn't move forward, as the consequences could be anywhere from mildly uncomfortable to completely mortifying. Could he afford it? Could he afford to NOT move? Quite the double edged sword.
Wanna hear the end?
He moved forward.
Ended up in a pile of wet mulch,
and the line of spectators applauded.

Rule #1: The answers to life's dilemmas can be obtained at any Walmart store. End of story.

Today we talked about what we wanted to be when we grew up.
"What about you Alec? Any ideas?"
"Oh... A vampire."
Of course when a 5 year old says something like that you have to press it, as the absurdity that is guaranteed to ensue is well worth the time.
"But... How will you become a vampire?"
"The vampire will give me his vampire disease."
"How will you find the vampire? Will you hunt him down?"
"No way! I'll call him."
"...Do you know any vampires? What's his number?"
"It's in the Vampire Book.... I GOT IT AT WALMART, OK?!"

And it was OK. It was OK that this kid was so determined in his mind to be what he wanted to be that there was always another way to get there, no matter what obstacles I threw at him.
He was going to get what he wanted.
And he was going to get it from Walmart.

Worms, Wizards, and Peanut Butter Sandwhiches.

So today was day one (1) of week one (1).
And with 150 children, 35 of them being my beloved 10-13 year olds, the promises of summer are endless.
And all together terrifying.
Because today I was offered a deal - I give him a piece of candy, he'll find me a boyfriend. I should just give him my list of requirements. - And almost had my pants pulled down during a frantic game of "Campzilla! Beasts from within!". Kids who've known my for years asked if I was 26 or 27; a silly question for an 18 year old.

I can't wait.
So this post is boring, but they told me I needed to write something.
So I did.
And I will.


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